Robert N Hope

A BODY BROKEN

 

Senses beaten and blurred

By a scarred and rotted spine

Muscles reflect the damage incurred

With failing body in steady decline

What choice but to resign

​

Trusting health could be bought

And that strength came free

Training and exercise forgot

Dedicated effort cast out to sea

Questions now where he might otherwise be

 

Now a shell without spirit

Hidden in a life without art

Surely he can perceive it

Body and will drifting apart

Each day further losing heart

 

A bright mind begins to stall

Confidence becomes daunted

Making a once great man small

Circumstance and damage unwanted

Forsaking all hopes yet unflaunted

 

Into a life with tainted pleasures

A body by discomfort bound

Exposed to nameless pressures

Grasping relief wherever found

Ever-uncertain freedom drowned

 

Surrendering to a mild madness

Feeling mind and body slow

Unwillingly giving way to sadness

In spite of everything he must know

Self-respect is hard to let go

 

With nerves in spasm and afire

Uneasy anxiety’s progressed

All the clouds emerge dire

Their bleak gravity stressed

Into an existence without zest

 

Each dawn arises frightening

This day could be the one

Back, hips, legs tightening

The spasms have begun

And another cloud blocks the sun

 

Incessant years of depression

Living now as a windless kite

His face without expression

Grown tired and weary of the fight

Each day withering into night

 

Life’s window narrows

Confined without cheer

Like a spring without sparrows

Even summer emerges unclear

There’s no dismissing the fear

 

With a blank, blameless stare

Under a premature shroud

Left suspending every prayer

It’s become so hard to stand proud

Living a life within a cloud

 

With all potential forsaken

Amidst exhausted powers

So many roads still untaken

He wilts as long-forgotten flowers

In what should be his finest hours

 

Pain has branded him a coward

And he is left to silently grieve

With disposition grown soured

In his heart he surely must believe

Feeble is his chance to achieve

 

The clouds release their showers

Feeding every flower and grass

But only dampening his hours

Their character growing crass

And there he meets a harsh impasse

 

He stands a frozen fountain

What was once so alive contained

As unmoving as a mountain

His heart and hope pained

Hardened dreams remaining chained

 

What might have been joyance

Is muddled in impropriety

Pain goes beyond annoyance

Coloring his world with anxiety

Furthering his demeanor of sobriety

 

With intentions cruelly overridden

Nothing happens without thought

Carefree movements are forbidden

Sudden reflexes long forgot

Such is what these pains have bought

 

From today to ever after

Pain is never far from thought

Even in the stingy laughter

Nerves vibrate as a line drawn taut

Bearing all the damage he has wrought

 

And hence his days are stolen

Watching as the years flew

What was meant to be golden

No longer rings true

Those are times he barely knew

 

Starved of confidence and strength

A grief his whole conveys

Damage of unremitting length

Blanketing with obscene haze

So sleeps the pride of younger days

 

What positive can one reap

From living in a dream

When pain follows you to sleep

And awakens a velvet gleam

Growing again a muted scream

 

A candle in the midst of fear

Therein rests a hope unborn

Hope of health returning clear

Of a body absent wearisome scorn

Of an untroubled life reborn